Absurdity Seekers Gifts

Amputee panhandling for limbs.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Glance Exchange

Crab with a clown face.

"Bigfoot"

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Extreme Sisyphus

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

Imagine

"Who's next?"

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"Valet park only"

One way only.

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Robber on treadmill

"It's my helper trout!"

"Do you wanna hear something really weird?"

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.