Absurd Advertising Gifts

100 Fat. Now with 50 less fat.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Barcode Dreams

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Crab with a clown face.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Nihilistic customer service"

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

Cash Rebate

'Not as easy as it looks?"

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

Post Post

"Our property taxes went up agian."

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

"Can you believe they're watching the same back-to-school ad?"

"He is a service dog – he's my accountant."

'They suspect arson.'

"If you killed him using a tennis racket, you need a sports lawyer."

A toaster plays fetch

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

Man crawling on desert see a dry cleaners in distance.

'So do you have any marketing strategies that don't involve 'Really Big Shoes'?'

Things-could-be-worse-go-round