Abstinence Gifts

Safe Sex

Teetotaller outside public house

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Alcoholics Antonymous

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Tee-totalitarian

"I'm saving my abstinence for marriage."

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

"I heard this place is Mecca for beer drinkers!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

Sober Tooth Tiger

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

"Here's the deal. If it tastes good, don't eat it."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

"I graduated summa cum laude caffeine-free, I'll have you know."

"Here y'are mate - have a drink on me. . !"

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"About time!"

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

Drink kills.

"No wine or song! That doesn't leave much does it?"

'I'm on the wagon.'

'Solar! I thought you said we were going completely SOBER!'

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

"Surely a total abstainer would abstain from abstention?"