Abstinence Advocate Gifts

Safe Sex

"No wine or song! That doesn't leave much does it?"

"Dry January?"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Smokey The Tree"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'You're going to have to stop smoking, drink less, change your eating habits and start taking regular exercise.' 'This seems awfy one-sided, Doctor.'

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

"Tomorrow, we'll take on the tobacco industry."

"Me, I became an outdoor cat when her new boyfriend moved in: he smokes in the house..."

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

The smoking Gun

"I'll have you know that I'm not breathing fire at all. I'm having a vape."

The Three Passive/Aggressive, Co-Enabling, Chemically-Dependent Billy Goats Gruff

Smoking ban in the Indian Camp.

Snowman with 'No Smoking' sign.

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

Drinking Conversion Chart

NO smoking...Ties required...Ties & nicotine patches available.

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

"Tell me about your problem drinking."

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

Do you want to add something about not smoking?

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.

"The good thing is I've given up smoking since I've been here."