Zoology Gifts

'Two black eyes. Solitary. Lethargic. Definitely in the DSM-V.'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

Lady studying chimps, chimp studying lady.

'Best of both worlds really. I can stick my head in the ground, and run away if I want.'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"Ever heard of the Alexander technique

'Dad, how come there are more bulls than bears?'

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Feels like an elephant trunk...."

"I just sent you a friend request."

"And, what's more, the jury was packed with ungulates."

'Having a sore throat is nothing. Wait until you get a stiff neck.'

Long necked giraffe playing long saxophone

'Uh-oh... when mom calls me by my full latin species name, I'm in big trouble.'

'I just can't believe I'm related to them.'

"'Born in conservation,' if you don't mind. 'Captivity' has negative connotations."

Kittens and snake.

'And that's why we make 'em sign permission slips.'

"We're so alike and yet we're poles apart."

"This fundamentally changes everything we know about elephants!"

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

Biodiversity in the Antarctic

Caution. Slow drivers ahead searching for snakes on the road.

'Oh, yes, Larry, we all know who's the Alpha male around here!'

Elephant in tail holding line has pulled tail off.

That's not a sheep … hey, maybe I'm not a sheep.

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

'Hall of small mammals'

Elephant to elephant with 'nose job.' 'Wait, don't tell me. Something's different.'

'Aspirin, Doctor?'

'Your patients did this? But... I thought you're working at the zoo?!'

ZOO

'It won't be long now - I'm in my 18th month.'

'You need a college education to fall back on, Timmy. You cannot count on being captured and spending the rest of your life balancing basketballs on the end of your nose.'