Zoology Buff Gifts

'I got scared. Unfortunately, I was standing on a concrete floor at the time...'

Elephant in tail holding line has pulled tail off.

'Aspirin, Doctor?'

"Mum, spiders have eight legs: does it mean we're related to the octopus?"

Anteater: 'OOOO, i don't feel so well.I think i ate too much.'

'Trust me... fat lions never attack.'

'...And I say, the hell with natural selection and let's just eat the nice fat juicy ones.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Is that beak or are you just happy to see me?'

'So where are they? We've been here for hours and not one damned zebra!'

'White meat or dark?'

'When humans say they love animals, they mean pets. They sure don't mean us!'

'What do you get if you cross a skunk with a koala?'

'Yeah, my beak's great for crushing nuts and fruit, but it's useless for ice-cream...'

'Sure he is cute, but he's still a vicious wild animal who can rip you apart with his massive pointy bear teeth and claws of death.'

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

Zebra to lion: 'Is this a good time to talk to you about the sanctity of life?'

Ophiologist

"I can't read anything right now. We have to wait a bit: Your palm is all wrinkled..."

"I tell you what, a broken tail is a major handicap..."

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

"So far so good, Bill's reverse psychology was working: no contenders had challenged him..."

Predator stretches

A Zebra and Tiger Confused by their Similar Stripes.

'I hope Daddy wins the mating fight, otherwise, we'll end up with half brothers and sisters...'

"Don't look back. Here come those nudists again!"

'I thought I'd ordered a toaster!'

"Delivery? I thought you were going to get takeout poodle."

Lost and Found Animals

'This always happens with the last peanut. You'd think they'd remember.'

"Whiplash."

"Well yes, technically, I was laughing in the face of danger, but really, I was just terrified..."

"Hang on, they're taunting us to charge: It must be a trap..."

Naked Mole Rat

Ernie's spent his entire career studying one species. He says everything else is "irrelephant."