Zoological Buff Gifts

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Polly txt speak

At the Museum

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Albert Einstein

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Apples for sale

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"The hyenas started it."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Farm Humor.

The Worm Charmer

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."