Zoological Buff Prints

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Polly txt speak

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

At the Museum

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Apples for sale

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Sign my yearbook?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Farm Humor.

The Worm Charmer