Zoologist At Heart Gifts

'That's OK, I'm not offended, I have a pretty thick skin: I'm a pachyderm after all...'

Polly txt speak

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Sign my yearbook?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Farm Humor.

The Worm Charmer

"The hyenas started it."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

"Tallyho!"

God's Subcontractors

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"We’re a lending aquarium."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Koalas when no one's looking"

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."