Zoning Out Pro Gifts

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Home Sweet Sign

'OK, that's five votes in favor of saving the historic old hotel, and one vote for stomping it to bits and eating everyone inside!'

"Stop son, council regulations state that we're not allowed to crow in urban areas..."

"I'm no longer cleaning my whole apartment. . . Just the 'Zoom Zone.'"

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

We're from the City Zoning Commission, sir -- we've decided to tear down your house and put up a slum.

"That law against keeping chickens inside the city limits is so crazy."

'Listen, I'm flattered, but it's safer for you if we just stay friends...'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Nothin' like Olympic athletes to remind us all that a year of sporadic Zoom workouts ain't quite the achievement we thought it was."

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

Transcending the physical looks good on you.

Man's aching body makes all the noise in the library.

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"The great thing about the ball taking place on Zoom is that you can wear sweatpants."

"Tia Carmen, this city council just banned roosters from living in town."

Keep off the grass...

Yoga Class. I was way ahead of the rest of the class...especially during the "empty your mind" part.

"Good luck trying to get him to do nothing."

'Goopta's philosophy is that you should always take the path of least resistance.'

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'You know, if we got a big-screen TV, we could all watch it!'

'Geeze. When the power's out there's nothing to play with around here.'

'Getting warmer... warmer... hot... boiling hot...'

"This requires both ears."

"How long did your mom make you sit in a corner?"

"The meaning of life is demonstrated by the futility of your fool's journey."

"I was at my sister's today. They have two pots."

Man Runs to the Television to Zap it Off.

"Shhhh!"

Human Cull: People who talk loudly in a library.

Holiday Boot Sale