Tuned-out Professional Gifts

"This requires both ears."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

Call Your Office

A souped up car...

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

'What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?'

"Oh...that's not good."

Have you considered using email?

"It's garage music."

Employee performance review software.

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

Yehudi Menuhin.

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

Trumpet

"Hi. I'm the babysitter, formerly with Action Data Systems."

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

'Cell phones can make you more productive, but only if you turn them off.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

'Your first board meeting?'

' I bet you here this kind of thing all the time. '

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

I have very few things in life to worry about...and that is making me worried!

"Give me a middle 'C', please."

"These informal meetings have become really informal."

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now, are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

"It was tough at first. Now I hardly ever get the urge to check my e-mail."

"Your ten o'clock cancelled. He doesn't like the way his skin gets all wrinkly."

'You stood up at the meeting and disagreed with the boss? Wow, I bet there was quite a backlash.'

"I've been re-skilled, Jim Lad."

We discovered he's tone-deaf when he started to fine-tune the economy.

"'Customer care' involves more than reading the memo..."