Tuned-out Professional Pillows

"This requires both ears."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

Call Your Office

A souped up car...

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

"Oh...that's not good."

"It's garage music."

Have you considered using email?

'What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?'

Employee performance review software.

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

Trumpet

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

'Cell phones can make you more productive, but only if you turn them off.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

'Your first board meeting?'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

' I bet you here this kind of thing all the time. '

"Give me a middle 'C', please."

"These informal meetings have become really informal."

I have very few things in life to worry about...and that is making me worried!

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now, are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

"It was tough at first. Now I hardly ever get the urge to check my e-mail."

"Your ten o'clock cancelled. He doesn't like the way his skin gets all wrinkly."

'You stood up at the meeting and disagreed with the boss? Wow, I bet there was quite a backlash.'

"I've been re-skilled, Jim Lad."

"'Customer care' involves more than reading the memo..."

"Did you know you can pay your bills and your dues online?"

"I'm fully invested and never mind what I'm wearing."