Zen Master Under Pressure Gifts

"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

Yoga with Baby

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

FAQs.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'This is a spiritual journey, Buddy...not a road trip.'

Relax.

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!