Zen Master Under Pressure Pillows

"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Yoga.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Yoga with Baby

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hoarder."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

Relax.

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'