Zen Handyman Gifts

Enlightened Cursing

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Tool Box

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

I did it my way.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Zenemies.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'Now it fits.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Yoga.

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."