Automotive Zen Master Gifts

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Yoga with Baby

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

FAQs.

Turmoil change.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'