Zen Administrator Gifts

Yoga class intrays - in/out/relax.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Yoga.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'