Yule Jokester Pillows

Santa's list has columns for Nice, Naughty and Misunderstood.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

Bug hanging up stockings

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

Santa Elevator

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"Mom! Is Santa's Naughty or Nice list in effect over summer vacation?"

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

Deck the halls with boughs of challah...

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

"Why are we following traffic lights? Rudolph got the corona Virus."

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

"If my husband starts nibbling your ear, you have my permission to confiscate his teeth."

Father Christmas's Alternative Sleigh.

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."