Young Whizz Gifts

'He's a whiz at computers and video games, but can't seem to grasp potty training.'

The first car accident.

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

Math Teacher

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

The Invention of the Wheel

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'I need both hands for steering.'

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"He's a whiz kid."

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

Millipede motorist

Johann Strauss

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

First Speeding Fine.

"Our band is called 'Paper'. We'll be covering some rock for you this evening."

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

"Do you mind?"

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

"Hardscrabble"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."