Western Whiz Gifts

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

'I guess that's what you would call a square dance caller collar.'

The first car accident.

Modern kite for wind energy.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

The Invention of the Wheel

Prawn Amend

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

'I need both hands for steering.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

First Speeding Fine.

Millipede motorist

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Johann Strauss

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

If God was a programmer

The Best Defense for Trump's Wall

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'