Young Niece Gifts

'Look! There's Santa!'

"Just watch. This row monitor job is just the first step on my road to the white house!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Remote control pirate bully

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

At the Museum

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Director/Action Man toy.

Football Fans

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Packaging Russian Dolls

Wildlife

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Cry babies.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."