Young Negotiators Pillows

"If by 'extortion' you mean paying me to find out what Susie said about you, then yes, this is extortion."

Kindergarten for Future Politicians. . .

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

SALE

Changing Minds

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I don't just want you to give me a raise, I want you to WANT to give me a raise."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"Cupcakes for the judge? You're new here, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

Unison plans strikes

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

'I'll do your taxes for you, daddy, if you'll color these silly homework pictures for me.'

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"