Young Love Negotiator Pillows

Children at a Party

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"I'll abandon my medium-and shorter-range missiles if you'll abandon yours."

Perhaps a ceasefire is in order. Terms? I will agree not to pummel you for forgetting our anniversary. You will refrain from pursuing the possibility that I, too, have forgotten it. You will, furthermore, massage my feet in penance for denying me a reason to yell at you. Non-negotiable! Got off easy.

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

'I'll do your taxes for you, daddy, if you'll color these silly homework pictures for me.'

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"You want privacy, don't date my daughter!"

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

Tunnel of I Need You to Help Out More Around the House

"Okay, it's a deal...you two pay me the same amount as your parents are, and I'll let you stay up an extra two hours."

Propriety