Child Negotiators Pillows

'Uh, Molly...Who's your little friend?'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks-- When do I get paid'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"