Little Negotiators Pillows

'He followed me home - Can I punch him?'

'I'm experiencing parental difficulties, please stand by.'

"Yes, I did throw the ball and break the lamp. But before you punish me, keep in mind who fixes your computer and phone."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'