Little Negotiators Gifts

'He followed me home - Can I punch him?'

This is from the kid at the next table. Lemonade. 25 cents.

'I'm experiencing parental difficulties, please stand by.'

"Yes, I did throw the ball and break the lamp. But before you punish me, keep in mind who fixes your computer and phone."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"But it will never get better if you picket"