Mini Negotiator Gifts

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

"And what can the Joint Chiefs of Staff do for you today, little girl?"

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

'I'll trade my 12 million dollar player for three of your 4 million dollar players.'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

"I tried to plea-bargain it down to a lecture, but it didn't work this time."

"You mean the vase I allegedly broke!"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'