Tiny Negotiator Gifts

"You always said I could be what ever I want to be. I want to be someone who doesn't eat vegetables."

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

A Young Girl And Her Pet Cat.

'Let's be realistic, Dad. How can I compete in the global economy without a raise in my allowance?'

'Well, if it's mine, why not give it to me?'

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

'It's his bath night, but he also wanted to watch tv.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Babble. Pbl. Babama. Bbb. Brb. Bod.

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'Let's arbitrate.'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks-- When do I get paid'