Young Investors Club Gifts

'Thanks...but according to the web, 80 of kids' allowances are now linked to the Dow.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Table tennis.

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

Warren Buffett as a child

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

A martial arts student saws a block of wood in half

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'What my stocks did during my summer vacation...'

'I'd love to play house, Kevin, but I've got a business to run.'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

The Little Banker Bonus Pack

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

"We shouldn't have sent him to summer financial camp. Today he turned down a new soccer ball--he didn't like its yield to maturity."

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

"I like your reading the financial pages junior. It shows you have an acquisitive mind."

'16 years old and I already have a company car!'

'May I have a moment of your time? I'd like to tell you about a plan my bank has for your IRA...'

"I was 13 once. It was hard."

"Instead of an allowance, I'd like a stock option."

How to live on 25 cents a week allowance.

The boy who took his piggy bank to the drive thru bank

'Oh, I just love dealing with investment clubs. Now, in whose name will you be buying the one-half share of Microsoft?'

'We had to toddler proof the tree this year.'

"She's quickly grasping the value of money. Her imaginary friend is named PayPal."

Who do you think you're kidding? The cub scouts don't have a "special ops."