Young Diyer Gifts

'Mum! Come and see the coffee-table I've made with my new tool-set!'

'Don't worry, she's going to hold the nails.'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

'I could do that.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

Witch Hardware

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

Parental Role Model

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

DIY expert.

'You don't have to raise your hand here, little boy.'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Who do you want to replace when you grow up?"

Wrong end of extension cord.

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

Man and boy looking at a birdhouse they have just built. It has a vacancy sign outside it like a motel.

"You guys made your own yard figures for Christmas?"

"If he can run for mayor, I bet I can be mayor some day too!"

Santa's elves were caught resting on their laurels.

'I don't want to be president when I grow up - but I'd like to have enough money to run.'

Rocking horse.

God's lil' fix-it shop.