Yeti Believer Gifts

"The Yeti probably thinks he can hide in plain sight, which, of course, is impossible. But he's much too stupid to know that."

'Rest assured, this hotel is second to none in providing for all the creature comforts.'

'Will you guys back there quit mumbling and let me know what's on your mind?'

'What does 'abominable' mean anyway?' (abominable snowman)

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

"The legend is true. Bigger Foot exists."

Football Delivery

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

'Call THAT abominable - you ain't seen my Ma-in-law!'

"When even the abominable snowman has had enough, its time for us to turn back."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

Myths and Other Urban Legends

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

'A white cat! That's good luck.' 'It doesn't work that way.'

"Sssh! - Did you hear a noise??"

Explorer seeing large footprints left by slippers.

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

Wizards Convention: Please Leave Hats Here.

" - Well. . . at least we found the bigfoot. . ."

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

Abominable Snow Dog.

"Wow- your blood pressure is impressive."

'Any sign of a yeti there, Fred?'

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

'Breaking news, this morning the Ravens flew away from the Tower of London...'