Yeast Experimenter Gifts

'Remember, don't let the dough rise too long."

"Young Frankenstein"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Cookbooks

Before/After

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

The Inexperienced Cook

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Miami Mice

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."