Yardwork Avoidance Pillows

"Baldo, how many times have I asked you to mow the lawn?"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"First time pruning?"

Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Good News about winter

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"He loves his leaf blower."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Conservation Area

Lawnmower

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Okay, dig that one up!

"Mulch madness"

Beginning Yarder.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"Must get a longer cable."

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

A man raking his lawn watches as the leaves climb back into the trees.

'George! This way quick!'

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."