Yard Yielder Gifts

"Starting these labour-saving devices is exhausting!"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

Beginning Yarder.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

Cat's golfing with a ball of yarn.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"Can't wait to see the look on his face when we put these back on the tree."

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

Junk Bonds - Back Soon - Out Chasing Yield.

"What a magnificent display of fall foliage – a blessing to behold." "*!#@!%* leaves!..."

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

Bank. 18 month CD 1.0815255645% Paying More digits than any other bank. Interest rates are so low! It's hard to believe this CD has reached maturity --- Just look at how little it's grown! Investing seems extremely risky these days. There's no safe place to get a decent return. They always say investing is a roller coaster. Yeah, but it's not true. On a roller coaster you get back to where you started!

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

Leaves.