Yard Wizardry Enthusiast Gifts

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Rose Garden

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Last Leaf

'That plant food really works!'

Beginning Yarder.

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Digging.

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Human males marking territory.

"How?"

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

'I'm out of bags.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

Leaves.

Hedge Car

Spring/Summer/Winter

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'