Yard Wizardry Enthusiast Pillows

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Rose Garden

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Last Leaf

'That plant food really works!'

Beginning Yarder.

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Digging.

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

Human males marking territory.

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"How?"

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'I'm out of bags.'

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

Hedge Car

Leaves.

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

Spring/Summer/Winter

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'