Yard Explorer Gifts

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Pumpkin patch

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Beginning Yarder.

Woman watering garden with watering can. Bug with umbrella up.

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Must get a longer cable."

Dung beetle to other dung beetle - 'Now what do we do with it' Reply - 'Beats me'

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

Ventriloquist Grave

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Pranking Zombies

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'Are they fresh?'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"