X-ray Expert Gifts

'You see, Mister Wilkens, Freckles has what we veterinarians call hardware disease."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

Orthopaedist

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"The good news is your back surgery has healed perfectly. However, it looks like you may have to go back for a second exorcism!"

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

"But the good news is I've found my watch!"

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Don't be alarmed. It's just our technician photo-bombing your X-ray."

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

'Billy, no! Midterms are tomorrow!'

So, what did my x-rays reveal, Doctor? Oddly enough, beneath your finished ink drawing, there was a rough sketch in blue pencil.

Alcoholic's X-Ray