X-ray Guru Gifts

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

If nobody had invented graphics

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Orthopaedist

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

"The good news is your back surgery has healed perfectly. However, it looks like you may have to go back for a second exorcism!"

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

"But the good news is I've found my watch!"

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'Billy, no! Midterms are tomorrow!'

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

Alcoholic's X-Ray

'You're right - the dog did eat your homework.'

Tunnel of Anxiety