Writing Warrior Gifts

'126,000 words done...now I just need to work out what order to put them in.'

"One of the failed candidates for the copywriters job wants to know 'wart was rong with his applicashun?'"

'You call that an essay on cricket? It's only half a page.'

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

'I read your last book. . . at least I hope it was your last book.'

"You'd better come up with something that will sell - or else. I hope that was helpful."

"I'll run through it again. Hit those keys."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Writer's Block

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'I wrote what I know. It's about a frustrated author being rejected all the time.'

'Here's the first copy. We only printed 1000 copies of your book.'

Wear your pens with pride

"This pen can write underwater!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."