Writer's Block Warrior Gifts

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

La Table

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

There were originally four musketeers. He said that the pen is mightier than the sword.

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"The narrative seems contrived."

'He's under office-arrest.'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

I told you the King wasn't ready for irony!

Admirable People - No.7. The man who invented writing before anyone could read.

"Writing that book was a real strain."

'126,000 words done...now I just need to work out what order to put them in.'

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

Woody Allen

"Dear Author: Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to reject your work."

J.B. Priestley.

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

'Yes, Frank. I'm sure you can make two hundred words out of just twenty six letters.'

Tell the author your idea for a book at 3 pm.

'Here's the first copy. We only printed 1000 copies of your book.'

"I'll run through it again. Hit those keys."

"One of the failed candidates for the copywriters job wants to know 'wart was rong with his applicashun?'"

A pop-up book author suffering from Folder's Block.

Health warning - This job will lead you to drink.

'Dear Diary, well, you never know. Today I led the stampede. Imagine my surprise when I found myself out there in front, all alone. Dreams to still come true...sometimes.'

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

Wear your pens with pride

Writer's Block

"You'd better come up with something that will sell - or else. I hope that was helpful."