Writing Essays Gifts

"You did good on the true or false part of your application, but your essay was a little weak."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

The Art Student.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Torturing the English Language

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf