Essay Writing Gifts

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

"Gracie, did you read my term paper?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

The Art Student.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Campaign for Plain English

My Bookshelf Before the Internet