Fiction Writing Gifts

'Reading this grant proposal, I conclude that you must have gotten an A in creative writing.'

"I'm writing a novel, but it's hard to find alone time."

'If Tony Soprano muscled in on the Corleone family, who would win?'

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

The Art Student.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'How fast can you hype?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Campaign for Plain English

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)