Novel Writing Gifts

"Since coming up here for the summer, I find myself writing an awful lot about gnats."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

Publish and be damned

"This writing programme you sent me has got 'writers block'!"

'I wonder what kind of thriller I'll have written today...'

'It's my pseudonym.'

"Now what?"

"And so on and so forth..."

"I feel like I have a book in me."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Anna Burns

The writer's world

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'

"Well, try writing about the damned blinking cursor, then."

'The Writer'

'He stood there in the half-light; he was all she could ever hope for in a man.'

"He's very disciplined about his writing. Three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and four in the afternoon!"

'Your night writing book, madam.'

Meet the author who hastily quit his day job.

'Best Seller'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Writers without borders.

"Should I throw this old draft away, or will my future archivists find it an invaluable source of insight into my psyche?"

"Don't write it!"

Writer

Writer's energy

Publishing Co. The editor rejected my novel about a group of buddies on a roadtrip. She said it had too many plotholes.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Can you rewrite this in 3-D?"

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."

"Now a hand for our next guests—a famous author and his big best-seller!"