Novel Writing Gifts

"Since coming up here for the summer, I find myself writing an awful lot about gnats."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

Publish and be damned

"This writing programme you sent me has got 'writers block'!"

'I wonder what kind of thriller I'll have written today...'

'It's my pseudonym.'

"Now what?"

"I feel like I have a book in me."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

The writer's world

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'

"Well, try writing about the damned blinking cursor, then."

'The Writer'

'He stood there in the half-light; he was all she could ever hope for in a man.'

"He's very disciplined about his writing. Three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and four in the afternoon!"

'Your night writing book, madam.'

Meet the author who hastily quit his day job.

'Best Seller'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Writers without borders.

"Don't write it!"

Writer

Writer's energy

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Can you rewrite this in 3-D?"

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."

"Now a hand for our next guests—a famous author and his big best-seller!"

"Very few new ideas come into Arthur's head anymore. He's living on his fat."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

Edna O'Brien