Publishing A Novel Gifts

Trilby - Finis

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Gay Times...

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Now showing, at a University near you...

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

Writers without borders.

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."