Publishing A Novel Gifts

Trilby - Finis

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Gay Times...

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Now showing, at a University near you...

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Writers without borders.