Publishing A First Book Gifts

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"It's amazing how you invested your lockdown time into writing this book, but it's utter drivel from beginning to end."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Meet the author"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Gay Times...

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

Isabel Allende

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."