Publishing First Book Gifts

Erotic Literature: 'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

Aspiring authors talk about their work.

"You are? Are you writing under your own name or a pen name?"

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Meet the author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

First Novels.

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Gay Times...

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.