Fiction Writing Teacher Gifts

Dean's Office. Because you're looking for a fiction writing teacher, I assumed you'd look favorably upon a creatively padded resume.

A Puppet Named Juan

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'They all want to play the star.'

Punctuation Police

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Trump! The Musical

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Shakespeare was bisexual

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"It's a play on words."

The Witches Discover The Wok

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"Oh, this old thing?"

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."