Wristband Warrior Pillows

'and this one's for people who've hurt their wrists wearing too many wristbands'.

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

Burn out

"Is there a seamstress present?"

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'Why can I never find my camouflage trousers?'

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

Genius Bar

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'